


The Mistake and a Heart to Break

by webley bulldog (fanficsofclare)



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Angst, Break Up, Cheating, F/M, Infidelity, M/M, drug use reference, implied make up, relationship troubles
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-15
Updated: 2015-02-15
Packaged: 2018-03-13 01:59:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,045
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3363551
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fanficsofclare/pseuds/webley%20bulldog
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Short angst dump. Sherlock catches John cheating on him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Mistake and a Heart to Break

The door slams shut with a noise so loud it makes the bed shake, long coat barely slipping out of the room in time behind the furious owner. The framed picture of two close friends drops from it's peg on the wall and the glass smashes. The soft naked body of Mary jolts away and stands, shouting accusations. 

  
"You said you broke up with him!" She yells, throwing his discarded clothes at him and roughly pulling on her own. It's uncomfortable, the inside of her thighs wet against the course denim of her tight jeans. She ignores it for a chance to get out, but he catches her wrist.  
  
"Mary wait- I can explain-" John says, but he can't. They both know that and she yanks her hand away and storms out, hair a mess and holding her heels. She retreats to her dorm in shame, tail between her denim covered legs.  
  
John buries his red face in hands, sat naked on the edge of his bed with the door ajar. "Stupid." He mutters to no one but himself, making a fist and weakly hitting his own forehead. "Sherlock's the best thing that could ever happen to you." He continues, flagging erection looking sad against his thighs.  
  
He stands after a long time of cursing his own ignorance and arrogance, closing the door and slowly pulling on clothes. He looks over to the bed where he first met Sherlock. Since joining the university, Sherlock had taken over his dorm and his life. They no longer needed separate beds, at least before this.  
  
He wonders if Sherlock will return today, or tomorrow, or at all, and if he will want to talk. John punches the wall, repetitively, causing a faint reddening and bruising along his knuckles. He gets his heart racing, causing him to take deep breathes. He can smell her, the perfume, the shampoo, and can still taste her.  
  
He doesn't know why he did it. John cannot think of any excuse, nothing that could fix this. He works on his apology, speaking aloud to himself for the rest of the day. "Sherlock, I'm sorry- I'm so so sorry." He shakes his head and tries again. "It was a stupid thing to do-" Not good. He collapses onto the floor, hunched over.  
  
Sherlock does come back that day, banging the door open with almost as much noise as previously. His pupils overshadow the colourful flakes in his eyes and he stumbles over his own feet.  
  
"Sherlock-? Are you high?" John stands quickly, checking his (lover, ex boyfriend, friend, roommate?)'s wrist for signs of elevated heart rate, pulse thumbing against his thumb.  
  
Sherlock brushes him off and makes a dismissive noise by blowing air out hurriedly, flopping onto his own bed.  
"Of course not." He says. He's lying, they both know that.  
  
"Oh Sherlock." John sighs, placing a comforting hand on Sherlock's back.  
"I'm so sorry." He knows it's not enough. "I'm such an idiot." He slowly cards his fingers through Sherlock's curls. "God Sherlock I never meant for this to happen."  
  
Sherlock whimpers noncommittally, eyes closed and body curled up tightly. He doesn't speak, giving John time to voice himself. "I don't know why- I don't love her. I'm so sorry- I've hurt you. I know I have." He pauses, searching Sherlock's tense face for any show of emotion.  
"There's no excuse for what I did. I can't expect you to forgive me."  
  
Sherlock is silent, not accepting or rejecting Johns words. His breathing is loud and slow, as if in a sleep, taking in deep breathes through his nose. After a long time, he finally spoke, voice horse and small.  
  
"I wish to terminate our sexual and romantic relationship." He spoke flatly, without any particular emotion.   
"We may remain roommates until either of us finishes our course, quite possibly stay friends."   
  
John listens, biting his bottom lip to stop it from shaking or from speaking out of turn. He knows that's the right choice, to break up, but he can't bare the thought.   
  
"I was stupid to love you." Sherlock whispers, eyes closed. "Obviously."  
  
"No- no Sherlock. I was stupid... I am stupid... I had everything I needed and I just- please don't leave me." John swallows back another argument. "No- sorry- I can't make you stay, I have no right to."  
  
"I love you, even if I won't show it or act upon it like I usually did." Sherlock opens his eyes and sits up.   
"Please sleep in your own bed tonight."  
  
John nods, blinking back tears and standing, moving over to his bed. He lies down and stares at the ceiling. Without glancing over, he can tell it's the same as Sherlock's position. After a while he whispers.  
  
"Sherlock?"  
  
"Yes, John?"  
  
"Can you ever forgive me?"  
  
"I don't know." Sherlock's bed creaks as he shifts slightly, turning on his side to face Johns half of the room. "I wonder if I could, if we stayed together, would it happen again? I wouldn't be enough."  
  
There's more creaking as John turns to face Sherlock, two pairs of eyes locking across a near dark room.  
"You're enough. You're everything." John whispers, fingers twitching to reach out and pull Sherlock's bed closed, pull Sherlock flush against his chest.  
  
"Why did you do it?" John can hear the tiredness in Sherlock's voice, the high ebbing away.   
  
"I freaked out. I'm terrified of commitment, Sherlock. Fuck-" there's a muffled sob from John's corner of the room. Sherlock shifts closer in his bed, almost hanging off the edge. "I only just realised- fucking hell. I'm so stupid- I guess- with Mary it's just sex, you know? Nothing tying her and I down. But with you- and you're a guy- it's scary- god I do love you, so so much- I could never break up with you- maybe I was trying to give you a reason to break up with me...." He laughs, shaking his head. "I'm just making excuses."  
  
"Give it time. I'll forgive you." Sherlock murmurs, sleeping rolling over him. "Maybe. I'm still debating. Stay single for a month and we'll probably be together again. I love you, idiot."  
  
"I love you too, idiot. Just don't waste time on me if you want better."  
  
"Night John."


End file.
